How To Deal With An Oppressive Employer

In the private and public sectors, organizational performance is strong when employees are confident. In turn, employees perform well and they are confident in their employers if the organization is competitive. That can only come if an organization is well-managed, and employees are confident about their future and are treated well.

So it was disturbing when someone recently asked me  what to do about an abusive boss. The degreed employee had just received a negative -performance appraisal, and is a white-collar professional over 40 years old. The appraisal threatened a coaching and counseling session in 90 days as a precursor to being terminated.

So I asked some open-ended questions to get the person to open up to me. The person mentioned examples of increasing hostility from the boss, micro-management, uneven treatment compared to coworkers, and reduced duties after trying to speak up. Also cited were cases of other employees who were forced out after long tenures.

Among my conclusions: The boss was guilty of age discrimination, harassment and retaliation.

Even in the face of such bad management, my personal philosophy is to try to avoid calling attorneys or the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). The self-esteem benefits from triumphing over such adversities are worth it.  So, before calling the EEOC, I suggested an alternative.

My counsel included these measures:

• Respond in writing to the appraisal after doing some research. (Research should include best-practices management, related-EEOC definitions on discrimination and harassment, the organization’s employee handbook and the organization’s published management principles.)
• Then compare the supervisor’s behavior with the best-practices management, EEOC standards, and the organization’s employee handbook and management principles .
• Document and compile a list of management misbehavior – try to reach the magic number of six allegations of poor management.
• Write a response using five steps in “How To Assertively Voice  A Complaint.”

The five steps:

1. Ask for a meeting and suggest two options (e.g. “How about Monday at 10 or Wednesday at 2?” ).  It’s a good sign if the person selects the first option. Either the boss is a decent person or anxious to find out what’s on the employee’s mind.
2. At the start of the meeting, give the person two strokes – two valid compliments. Even an abusive boss has two qualities worth mentioning. The extreme example I use in HR teamwork classes is Adolph Hitler, the world’s most notorious madman. Even Hitler could have been complimented for his cunning and for being an excellent orator, right? I suggested to the employee  –  in the event two qualities didn’t come to mind – then, the employee is culpable, too, because of  a negative or fearful attitude. Negative or fearful attitudes are manifested in poor work performance.  (What, if any of the supervisor’s criticism is valid?)
3. Hand the supervisor the written response that includes steps 2-5 , starting with the compliments and mention how and why the boss  makes the employee feel uncomfortable. NOTE: Here’s where you insert your six complaints. (e.g. “I feel uncomfortable when…”).
4. Then, tell the person what you want (e.g. “What I want is…”)
5. Get a contract or an agreement by asking a simple question (e.g. “Are you willing to…?”). Then, pause and wait for the person to answer. If the person agrees, shake hands and watch for improvement. If the person says no, don’t make any threats but politely leave and head for the telephone to call the EEOC. Remember in adversarial situations,  never  give away your power by telegraphing your next move.

In the three decades I have used this assertive process – or taught it to others – it has always worked. True to form, the employee received a re-worded employee appraisal with the threat of termination deleted.

From the Coach’s Corner, here are two resources: 

• If you’re lacking in confidence in business or other relationships, try reading an excellent book on how to be assertive. It’s a best-seller entitled, “When I say no, I feel guilty,” by Dr. Manuel Smith.
• If you’re a manager and want to avoid employee problems, consider the readings in the HR section of this site, including: “Managers Be Careful – EEOC Discrimination Suits Are Skyrocketing.”